Friday, December 4, 2015

Stop the Insanity.

Stop shouting at me! Stop shouting at everyone!

I've been there. Shouting on the inside, shouting on the outside. It might help for the moment but

that's it. Everything that's making you act this way will come rushing back in, unless you take real 

action. Real action to get rid of the anger, the hurt, the confusion, the problems that alcohol just

exacerbates. Until you take the steps that can free you from this agony you're in, you're just going to

keep shouting. I can remember my very soul trying to jump out of me and go somewhere else,

be someone else, lots of times. One time in particular stands out to me. I was yelling and fighting

with my ex husband for the 1,780,132nd time, when all of a sudden, I was standing outside of

myself, watching myself ranting and raving. Has that ever happened to you!?

Needless to say, I didn't like what I saw. I can't explain what I saw either. It's just one of those divine

intervention things you hear people talk about and maybe never even realize you've experienced one

yourself until years later. That happened probably 26 years ago and I can see it clearly as if it's

happening now. These are the types of things that should end our drinking and set us on a new path.

It didn't of course, but it sure started me thinking about getting off that horrible roller coaster I had

been on for most of my life. It took more shouting, more alcohol, more insane behavior

before I stopped though. In order to stop the insanity, I had to stop drinking.

If you want something different for yourself, for your life and you think drinking is getting in the

way, you need to stop too. When I walked through the door into my first AA meeting I didn't know if

it would help, but I knew I had to try. If you want to stop the shouting, stop the insanity, you have to

try too. There are people inside those doors that know what it's like and they're ready to help.